A Man's Intention

IT sits on the table between us.

Patient, watching, 

Waiting. 

As your hand walks its way toward mine, 

IT stirs.

IT continues to watch.

And wait.

I don't notice IT sitting there.

Looking back,

Oh, how I wish I had.

But. 

We can't go back.

We can never go back.

You grab my hand and pull it towards you,

Stopping just inches from your face.

Oh, I remember the excitement!

The thrill!

The longing for your embrace...

Too distracted I was,

To notice,

IT's own excitement,

that gleamed across its face...

After what seemed like an eternity, 

Your lips caress the tops of my fingers,

And come to rest awhile upon my hand. 

Then,

Suddenly,

You come to stand.

Still gripping me, 

You pull me up from my seat,

And lead me...

Where are you leading me?

I pull away from you.

I try..

I.

I try to retreat... 

IT jumps from the table, 

and bristles with anger beside you...

How did I not notice?

How?

Naive. So naive. 

You halt my advances with soothing words. 

We're just going to lay down, my dear.

We're

Just 

Going 

To 

Lay 

Down..

...

Lay down, indeed.

I let you take my hand once again, 

And IT calms beside you.

Then IT follows us,

IT follows us..

IT follows us to your bed.

You take a seat upon its edge,

Patting the place beside you.

Calm down, you silly girl!

This being what I told myself at the time.

He's a nice man, with a kind face.

Yes, a kind face.

Silly girl?

More like stupid, obtuse, 

Imbecilic, 

witless girl.

Finally,

I come to rest beside you.

Your arm,

It brushes against mine.

Your fingers,

They start to trace my body's outline.

They stop for a moment,

on my cheek.

I remember how I started to tremble..

How my knees..

They grew weak.

During this time, IT has come to join us on the bed.

IT stares at me now. 

IT stares at the star-crossed orbs

Inside my head.

What is IT looking for?

What does IT want?

Does IT find me cunning?

Or maybe remarkably smart?

Surely not,

I'd say now. 

For right then,

IT started to grow dark.

Your hands find my shoulders, 

Then slowly push me back. 

Slowly, yet forcefully, 

You push me back.

Words like beautiful, darling, dear,

They roll lightly off your tongue.

They find me and soothe me, 

So I release the air 

I had held in my lungs. 

IT,

ever darkening,

ever growing bolder,

IT climbs inside my addled brain,

And waits.

Once again. 

IT waits.

Your hands,

Once on my shoulders,

Start moving toward my breasts.

Your lips smash against mine,

And your body, 

IT pushes down on my chest.

No more resisting,

IT whispers from my own mind.

It's time to rest, my dear.

Just rest.

I remember how much I wanted to run. 

I remember how badly I wanted to leave.

But you.

You stopped me. 

And IT seeped from my brain,

to the rest of me.

I start protesting.

Right then, 

Right there. 

But you push me back, 

And hold me down.

Hold me down..

You hold me down by my hair. 

IT now spans across all my insides,

As your hands,

They tear at my dress.

Now, 

Too late, 

IT's identity rings sure and true. 

Your Intention..

Much bolder, much darker..

Within me,

IT now resides.

Consuming all of me.

All of me..

Until my feeble,

Trembling heart,

Decides to hide.

-Bailey