Of Silence

The zeal within me has escalated in this post-corybantic moment. It is staggering to behold that when I am staring at seemingly nothing--which is more often that not--my mind is so alive. Do not, then, take my blank stares as an affront. Rather, see my silence as the product of a unique interaction. My being beholds that of others every day, and words fly off my tongue without a single spark upstairs. What would there be to gather from instilling this same phenomenon that all else do in me? There would be nothing.

Gossamer

Her being imbues the tickling tingles of butterflies,
trapped in the stomachs of strangers passing by.
Her soul radiates purity, and instills an intangible
inner peace into the lucky ones that catch her eye.
Her smile is that of undiluted delectation,
and her eyes shine with the wisdom of an old soul.
Her hands possess the very essence of magnanimity
and tenderness; resentment and sorrow wither
at her caress. Everything about her is beautiful,
and all things she graces with her time
have a gossamer sheen of the beauty she leaves behind...
Alas, I have a gossamer sheen. I have been left behind..
Her spirit is elusive; I knew all the while that I couldn't
experience it for long. I could not contain her. No man of
this land can. She is as free as Poseidon's horses,
born of the sea foam. Dependence does not define with her,
and reliance is that of a foreign tongue.
No, forever with her was never transcribed onto the pages
of Fate. But my time with her was real; it is something that
I must relive in my mind in all of the days to come. If I do not,
I'll never again believe it to be true. I cannot forget to remember her..
I cannot forget her..
I'll always remember her,
my gossamer girl.

-Bailey

The Pew of Echoes

I stood outside this little building,

not sure what I was looking for, just wanting to be alone,

but Temptation lurked beyond my reach,

waiting for me,

beckoning me,

calling my name.

He stood before my very eyes,

drawing me closer. But as I made my way to him,

Conscience crept up beside me.

She led me to a pew in the back,

far away from him, from Temptation.

Conscience sat with me amidst the silence.

She whispered in my ear;

she held my hand.

As time passed by, Guidance joined me in the pew.

I hadn't seen him in a while,

and I was surprised to find him here.

He looked at me,

asked me to stand.

He said “come along”,

and grabbed my hand.

I was wary when I saw him kneel by that mourner's bench,

but eventually I did the same.

I didn't know what to pray for;

I didn't even know who to pray to.

Quickly discouraged, losing hope,

and about to leave,

It was then that I felt the hand of Faith fall on my shoulders.

She told me who to pray to,

and what to pray for.

I was hesitant to believe her.

Her words too good to be true

But Guidance calmed my doubtful mind.

So,

on my knees, I started to pray.

I prayed for Love to find me,

I prayed for Hope to call my name.

I prayed for Strength to stand beside me,

I prayed for Wisdom to be my friend.

I prayed for Pride to stop following me,

I prayed for Temptation to leave me alone.

I prayed for Hate to vacate my shadow,

I prayed for Despair's reign to end.

I stayed inside that little building for hours,

my prayers never ceasing.

The mourner's bench was wet with my tears and crowded by my companions.

Guidance told me not to look back;

Hate and Despair were watching me,

and Temptation was mocking me.

Faith told me not to give up on Hope;

her soft and vibrant voice would soon speak my name.

When all was said, and the words rested in my ears

I bowed my head, and continued to pray, but

At that very moment, the door opened--a man had walked in.

As he strolled down the aisle, Hate shrunk down in his seat,

and Temptation cowered on the floor.

Despair, that seemingly overbearing fellow,

was nowhere to be found.

When the man approached us,

Faith and Guidance shined like the stars, and Hope,

thought lost for so long,

appeared with a whisper of my name on her lips.

I was about to speak,

But in that fading moment, the man reached out to touch me.

I felt his touch in my heart--I felt the warmth of it on my soul.

I knew this man,

this man knew me, and all that I would ever be.

This man was Salvation, and he had come to take me home.

-Bailey

            Writing with Lucas

A Man's Intention

IT sits on the table between us.

Patient, watching, 

Waiting. 

As your hand walks its way toward mine, 

IT stirs.

IT continues to watch.

And wait.

I don't notice IT sitting there.

Looking back,

Oh, how I wish I had.

But. 

We can't go back.

We can never go back.

You grab my hand and pull it towards you,

Stopping just inches from your face.

Oh, I remember the excitement!

The thrill!

The longing for your embrace...

Too distracted I was,

To notice,

IT's own excitement,

that gleamed across its face...

After what seemed like an eternity, 

Your lips caress the tops of my fingers,

And come to rest awhile upon my hand. 

Then,

Suddenly,

You come to stand.

Still gripping me, 

You pull me up from my seat,

And lead me...

Where are you leading me?

I pull away from you.

I try..

I.

I try to retreat... 

IT jumps from the table, 

and bristles with anger beside you...

How did I not notice?

How?

Naive. So naive. 

You halt my advances with soothing words. 

We're just going to lay down, my dear.

We're

Just 

Going 

To 

Lay 

Down..

...

Lay down, indeed.

I let you take my hand once again, 

And IT calms beside you.

Then IT follows us,

IT follows us..

IT follows us to your bed.

You take a seat upon its edge,

Patting the place beside you.

Calm down, you silly girl!

This being what I told myself at the time.

He's a nice man, with a kind face.

Yes, a kind face.

Silly girl?

More like stupid, obtuse, 

Imbecilic, 

witless girl.

Finally,

I come to rest beside you.

Your arm,

It brushes against mine.

Your fingers,

They start to trace my body's outline.

They stop for a moment,

on my cheek.

I remember how I started to tremble..

How my knees..

They grew weak.

During this time, IT has come to join us on the bed.

IT stares at me now. 

IT stares at the star-crossed orbs

Inside my head.

What is IT looking for?

What does IT want?

Does IT find me cunning?

Or maybe remarkably smart?

Surely not,

I'd say now. 

For right then,

IT started to grow dark.

Your hands find my shoulders, 

Then slowly push me back. 

Slowly, yet forcefully, 

You push me back.

Words like beautiful, darling, dear,

They roll lightly off your tongue.

They find me and soothe me, 

So I release the air 

I had held in my lungs. 

IT,

ever darkening,

ever growing bolder,

IT climbs inside my addled brain,

And waits.

Once again. 

IT waits.

Your hands,

Once on my shoulders,

Start moving toward my breasts.

Your lips smash against mine,

And your body, 

IT pushes down on my chest.

No more resisting,

IT whispers from my own mind.

It's time to rest, my dear.

Just rest.

I remember how much I wanted to run. 

I remember how badly I wanted to leave.

But you.

You stopped me. 

And IT seeped from my brain,

to the rest of me.

I start protesting.

Right then, 

Right there. 

But you push me back, 

And hold me down.

Hold me down..

You hold me down by my hair. 

IT now spans across all my insides,

As your hands,

They tear at my dress.

Now, 

Too late, 

IT's identity rings sure and true. 

Your Intention..

Much bolder, much darker..

Within me,

IT now resides.

Consuming all of me.

All of me..

Until my feeble,

Trembling heart,

Decides to hide.

-Bailey 

An Ephemeral Vessel

Are you there, wherever you are, thinking of me? I most certainly am thinking of you, now, in this moment. I am thinking of the way you love me, the way those eyes fall on mine in the seconds before we kiss. I am thinking of the day we met, how your eyes seemed so different then. They were the same color, just as beautiful, but they did not know me, they did not love me. The days, the nights, every waking hour I spent lost in that gaze of yours, a wayward vessel sailing for the sunrise. How you came to love me, you would smile just hearing my voice. You would laugh at my stupid jokes, and they were stupid. You would worry when I was gone, and light up like the sun when I was there. I remember holding you in the dark, the world fading away leaving only us and the stars we were under. I smiled at you; I kissed your lips and told you everything was going to be ok. I told you that no matter where I was, I could look at those stars and see you there next to me. See this moment, this fleeting moment, watch as it became eternal. Watch as we became eternal.

                Do you see me there? Do you feel me there? I am waiting for you behind this wall of time. I will always be here waiting. Search for me my love, reach out in the dark, look up at the stars and remember me. Please, I am fading away. I can’t hold on anymore. I’m slipping. No! I won’t let go! Remember me! Remember m…

                Have I been gone long? My ship she… she… well I don’t remember exactly what happened. The last thing I recall was sailing towards the sunrise. I felt so sure. I felt like I had a purpose. It’s crazy I know, but, I was lost at sea for so long, looking for something. Something I thought I knew. It’s been that long? It’s funny how time falls away from you. Not in the ticks of a clock but rather in the beats of a heart. Did I find what I was looking for? I believe I did. I never caught the sunrise, as a younger me once thought he could. But out there among the distant tides and the shining stars I found something I never knew existed. What was it, you ask? Well, one day when you find yourself lost at sea, remember the stars, remember the fleeting moment. And you will see for yourself. What now, you ask? Well, now I must find her. I pray she still looks at the stars, that she sees that moment, that fleeting moment. That she sees me.

-Lucas

            Writing with Bailey